I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
BRING THE BAGELS
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
