From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
operation have a gay friend backfired
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
