You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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