shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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