just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
