I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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