I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
