Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
