We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
