is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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