if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
