Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
