She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
