she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
