if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
