I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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