I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
