the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
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