are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
