There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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