that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
