my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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