? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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