Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
