Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
