i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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