Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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