??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i think i just lost a toe
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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