I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
