I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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