i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
