Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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