oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
