that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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