I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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