I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
