I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
