I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
