Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
