Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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