After last night, I could never be a politician.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
