Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
