$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
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