Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
