she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
