just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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