My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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