i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
being pregnant is like rehab
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
