Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
