dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
