The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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