"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
