Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
