my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
