he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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