addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize