Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
