Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
