so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize