She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
